torsdag 1 juli 2010

Copypaste from the makeup blog

As some of you may already know, I tick almost every box on the hypothetical Nerd Sheet. Miniatures and acrylic paint is one thing, as is LARP, retro kitsch, tentacles, RPGs and corpsepaint. But one box that I usually hide from people - and one that is rather uncharacteristic for reenactment-inclined ladies - is the makeup box. You may now despise me.

When NOT wearing a helmet (linefight, yay! - me on left),
you might want to cheat to avoid detection.

Makeup (oh goodness) is rarely kosher in any reenactment group with high-level requirements for hand-sewn wool garments and an infinite tolerance for meats spiced with cinnamon, ginger, mint, lingonberries, wine leaves and pine cones... Some days I'm perfectly comfortable running around without makeup, it's rather healthy, but sometimes I feel like a small, pale potato once I've pinned my stupid veil in place to be photographed by tourists all day. Veils are not flattering. Wimples are ugly, I don't care what twisted ideas the wimple fetishists among us may have.

You might try:

1. Sunscreen. Of course. If you DON'T wear sunscreen and then suddenly expose your ethereal, computer-gloomy snout to three days of sunshine, you will acquire the reenactment tan (bright red neck and nose, white line on your forehead, burned temples, red hands + white arms, and feet that hurt like hell.) The rest of your body will be just as pale as before. Large straw hat recommended. And for goodness sake, slap some sunscreen on everyone else too, because they will forget.

2. Concealer. I'm afraid to use concealer because it ALWAYS shows, but you could wear a smidgen of foundation if you feel you have to. Powder next, rub it in like there's no tomorrow, since you won't be able to do many touch-ups before the event closes on Sunday. Some blusher if you dare, but it will be totally unnecessary in about three hours, when the first tan redness appears despite your best efforts.

3. Eyebrows. Eyebrows. They are very much exposed (veil!) unless you have a visor to slam down, plus it's historically correct to pluck them a bit, even if you might be considered a loose woman for doing so.

4. I usually put on some jabs of brown mascara, since I look like a naked ghost without it, and then I pluck most of it away with my fingers to tone the effect down a bit. Whatever you do, watch out for clumps - a dead giveaway.

5. Chap stick with sunblock. All of a sudden you feel like you've eaten chili. Not good. And if your mouth just visually disappears and needs to be drawn back on, be sure to use a stain or some goo that doesn't show texture, like clear lip balm.

6. Dotted brown eyeliner? Yeah, maybe. Nobody will notice anyway. There, now you're ready to go trip over the tent lines, slip in the cow dung, criticize the mediocre craft projects your friends have brought, and work on your hay fever!

3 kommentarer:

  1. Haha kul skrivet :D

    Eder "Schlappen" är f.ö. färdig att brukas nu och kan beskådas på min blogg

  2. Hahaha! Enastående! Fåfänga undercover - ett hemlig systerskap som driver sin vidriga agenda - mitt framför näsan på oss!

    Och vinlöv är gott, damn you!

  3. Så fint skrivet, intressant vinkling på det vi håller på med. Har tidigare sett misstänkta personer (dock inte dig)men inte vågat tänka tanken att det skulle kunna vara på det viset... Tycker det är bra att du gör det som får dig att må bra. För man mår bra när man vet att man är fin. punkt. (ja glömde mitt hemma så jag blir utan i Varberg.) Ses ikväll!